Alaska's Final Breath
by SimplyAbi
Summary: So this is my interpretation of Alaska's final moments, written from her perspective: one shot which includes my own opinions about her death, I hope you enjoy.


His mouth strained from me, a mutual understanding of our tiredness and drunken daze. My body relaxed into his, ribs protruding into my cheek. One layer between us. And we sleep together, no nakedness or kissing, just a cuddle, arm touching the small of my back. As my eyes drifted shut all I heard was: "I love you Alaska Young." No Pudge, we've been through this before, you love the happy, maniacal side of me. The real me is a screw up, the same terrified little girl who didn't call the emergency services when her mother had a heart attack, the one responsible for so many peoples unfortunate happenings.

I feel his body relax underneath me and I presume that he's given into sleep, and I would too, but if I get caught by the Eagle, I'm going to get expelled. I push myself from underneath him and gaze down at the conscious corpses. I squeeze myself through the door and tip toe down to Room 48, slip in through my door and sit down on the bed and pull out my phone, ready to call Jake. The white flowers meet my eyes.

Mum. I can't believe I forgot. I need to get out of here.

"I have to get out of here!"

"What's wrong?" Pudge asks.

"I forgot! God, how many times can I mess up? I JUST HAVE TO GO. HELP ME GET OUT OF HERE!" Pudge you don't need to get involved, please just get me out of this town.

"Where do you need to go?" I sit down with my head between my thighs and hands interlocked on the back of my neck.

"Just please distract the Eagle right now so I can go. Please." I beg

"Okay." They look at eachother, pondering whether or not to help me.

"Just don't turn on your lights," the Colonel said, picking me up from the bed and patting my back. "Just drive slow and don't turn on your lights. Are you sure you're okay?" I nod, but snap at him.

"Just get rid of the Eagle for me, god oh God, I'm so sorry." I hug them both and leave the door. I'm sorry I'm like this, I'm sorry I'm a bad friend, I'm sorry I use you sometimes, I'm sorry that you know me. I'm sorry.

I leave the campus of Culver Creek and run down to my car, jump in and turn the keys in the ignition. I don't bother to strap myself in, there's no time and I don't really need to. I wheel down my window, trying to get fresh air and focus on getting myself and these flowers to her grave before it's too late. I have to thank the kind, forgiving hippie that was my mother that so kindly let me choose my name, who took me to the zoo, that cared for me and help me and cried with me and laughed with me and did so much. I have to repay that debt just by remembering her.

I pull on to the interstate and cruise down, letting the darkness inside me hold me up and the darkness outside holding me together. The roads are quite and nothing can be heard or seen for miles around, and thank God. Only ten minutes to the graveyard, ten minutes until my conscious is clear and I can resume my hanging 'to be continued'. As I turned the corner, a black shadow appeared beneath the headlights taking up nearly all three lanes, leaving a gap just big enough for me to fit through. A police car was illuminating the Jack-knifed truck with its headlights, and then proceeded to switch on its police lights and siren. It's warning me to swerve, but I don't need to, I can fit through that gap. I'm nearing the gap now, five minutes to go, five minutes until my conscious is clear and I can resume my hanging 'to be continued'. But to be honest, why should I resume my 'to be continued' when I have Jake? I love Jake, why should I ruin a good relationship? Maybe Jake will believe the truth or dare story, although I did enjoy kissing Pudge. The sirens getting louder, the lights brighter and more prominent, my vision blurring. The gap is right in front of me. I can make it through, I will make it through, there is no option.

I need to make it through. For mum.

* * *

**Thanks for reading this little thing, I wrote it for a writers award, and thought it might be interesting to post on here! I'm planning to continue Hunters - I just haven't really got round to writing more of it - but school is over soon so expect a lot of chapters from me during the Easter holidays (spring break). **

**I absolutely adore this book, beautifully written (with one of my favourite last lines ever!) and I just wanted to express my opinion on Alaska: after really reading the book, I concluded that Alaska was bipolar, and that to me explained her switching personality: and her saying to Pudge; **

"Don't you know who you love, Pudge? You love the girl who makes you laugh and shows you porn and drinks wine with you. You don't love the crazy, sullen bitch."

**To me this also explained her suicidal nature, and her willingness to die.**

**Anyway I'm rambling now so I hope you have a great day and please leave a review, favourite and follow.**

**Abi :)**


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